Seven Types Of Raptor Fans

[Built Ford Tough]

Found this on Raptors Republic and thought I would post it here.

 

The Reasonable Fanatic: Has missed maybe 20 games since 1995. It’s become an unhealthy addiction without him even realizing it, knows every contract on the team down to the qualifying offer and vehemently takes out anybody who makes even the slightest mistake when discussing the salary cap. Gets especially agitated when ‘idiots’ don’t count cap-holds when figuring out the payroll . Can’t afford to buy season tickets but does go to every game whenever something free comes his way. His knowledge of the four major sports is impressive and slowly but surely, he’s adopted basketball as his favorite one. Doesn’t get emotionally attached to a player, but is loyal to the team, win or lose. Schedules dates with his girlfriend around Raptors games and if there ever was a conflict, he’d send her to go see 27 Dresses alone.

 

The Frustrated Fan: He’s like the dad who’s into any decent sport but grew up watching hockey. When the Raptors came, it peaked his curiosity more than his interest. The Vince years teased him a little, even took his kids to a few games, bought a jersey for his annoying son and started watching the games when nothing else was on TV. His interest right now is pretty low, he just took out a second mortgage, has started hating the Leafs and is thinking about divorcing his wife. He could care less about the Raptors right now, but if they start doing better, he’ll follow them just to take his mind of his crappy life.

 

The Lonely Adult: Puberty hit right about the time the Raptors were created. Lack of interest from the fairer sex meant more time doing other stuff and that stuff turned out to be Raptors basketball. He loved the team for the sake of loving something and to be loved back. The team did love him back, through hard work, effort and all that good stuff that’s missing these days. Throughout the four tumultuous university years, he kept a close tab on his beloved team. When he finally graduated and got a job as low-level tech-support, instead of investing he bought season tickets to make his dream come true. Unfortunately, the excitement of the Vince hears had gone, and had been replaced by a decaying smell of pending doom. He doesn’t care, he’s the eternal optimist and will love his Raptors as much as he loves his mother, who probably thinks he’s weird. Is obviously single.

 

The other 4 are here:

 

http://raptorsrepublic.com/2010/07/26/seven-types-of-raptors-fans/

 

Which catagory do you think you fall into of these seven?

 

Also, for all of the non-Raptor fans who visit the board, which catagory would you put the Raptor fans on OTR into?

[YugoRocketsFan]

Jer is definitely the lonely adult.

[KurbyFX]

Should be a punjabi category.

[Check my Stats]

I thought the youngunz for life would be totally something different.

[Cleveland's Finest]

Haha, I'm like the flip-flopper. This is a hilarious read.

[fedefox]

This is a hilarious read.

[BlueDevil]

aha deff the lost dream for me

[Built Ford Tough]

Raptors Republic released 7 more types:

 

The Standard Bearer: Nothing short of a championship is good enough. Scoffs at playoff appearances and despises anyone who receives any enjoyment from a regular season win. Proclaims that the coach or GM, if not both, need to be fired immediately to salvage what’s left of a franchise that is inevitably heading south, maybe even this season. Is very likely an underachiever in the workplace and rather crude with ladies; projects his insecurities onto the team in the form of constant criticism. Always complains that his beer is flat when the bubbles are literally overflowing from the glass.

 

The Emotionally Strained: Takes things a little too seriously. When asked what he’d do if a genie granted him one and only one wish, incorrectly replies that he’d want the Raptors to win a title, while ignoring his more urgent deficiencies such as a sense of humour, a clean shave and a woman. Cried when Carter missed that shot against Philly and called in sick to work the following week. Picks fights at school with anyone who even casually says that the Raptors suck; in a social setting, he always steers the conversation to basketball because that’s the only thing he can speak of with relative competence and without a nervous twitch. Is a genuinely nice person who would benefit greatly from an NBA lockout, as it’ll finally allow him to attend to the part of life not related to the Raptors.

 

The Loyal STH: Rain or shine, this man will buy season tickets. The unexplainable inertia that propels him to renew his seats is something scientists can only wish they could understand. No doubt, after every disappointing season he seriously contemplates it and even decides on it, not answering the Raptors’ phone calls all summer. Then one day his phone rings and the call display says “B. Colangelo”. It is simply too tempting for him not to answer so he does, not knowing that the call just cost him $5000 dollars. Before he answers he has his mind made up of “ripping Colangelo” but the latter’s sweet talk and promises are too much and The Loyal STH is reaching for his credit card before he even hangs up.

 

The other 4 are at this link:

 

http://raptorsrepublic.com/2010/07/28/seven-more-types-of-raptors-fans/

Edited July 29, 2010 by Built Ford Tough