Jump to content

I Almost Died Yesterday


Nitro
 Share

Recommended Posts

So, around 3PM yesterday I was taken to the ER with an overdose of heroin. I shot up my usual two bags, but one (or both) of the bags had an unusual cut or was extremely pure, and I passed out, and woke up strapped to a stretcher in an ambulance with the oxygen mask on my face. They said I started going into repritory depression, which caused little to no oxygen to be passed when I was passes out, and started causing me to choke and my lips turn purplish. They got me breathin' and awake, and after a brutal few hours in the ER where I felt disoriented and [expletive], I finally got to go home.

 

This is the 4th time I've nearly died in 2 years, and I'm sick of it. I'm always in some kind of serious trouble, and drugs are absolutely ruining my life. They are all I think about, even when I dream. So, once and for all, I'm going to ask for help and go to rehab. I need to get my last straight, That means that in the next months or so, I'll be absent from OTR, which sucks, but will be necessary. I'll let ya'll know what that date exactly comes soon.

 

Peace,

Nitro

Edited by Nitro
Link to comment
Share on other sites

^Why would he lie about this?

 

Very sorry to hear about this, best of luck in rehab man. Getting your life straight is more important than a basketball forum, you'll be missed greatly but we'll all be rooting for you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

^Why would he lie about this?

 

Very sorry to hear about this, best of luck in rehab man. Getting your life straight is more important than a basketball forum, you'll be missed greatly but we'll all be rooting for you.

 

Well I am not trying to bag on him but I just figured him to be a smarter person than that, it was surprising to read.

 

Once again best of luck bro.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Must be scary going through an overdose.

 

It is. It's the 3rd time I've gone through an OD. I OD'd on sleep pills, intentionally, in 2009, and I was pretty much blacked out for the entire experience so it wasn't too bad. Then last year on Easter I took a bunch of caffeine pills (that I was selling to a kid, crushed up, as coke) and nearly had a heart attack and they needed to inject me with 4mg of Ativan to get my heartbeat and blood pressure in check. That was really scary, but this was even worse because I took what is usually an average does for me, then out of nowhere I black out and wake up very light-headed and delerious strapped down to a stretcher in an ambulance. When I heard I was so close to death and that my friends were so fearful of my life that they called the police (which they would have avoided at all costs if possible), it scared the hell out of me.

 

And thanks for the all the kind words, guys!! I'll probably be around another 1-2 days since I gotta find a rehab my insurance recovers and move in and whatnot, so you'll still see me around a little while longer. Depending on what rehab I go to, I may or may not be able to occasionally have access to this site. If I don't, I'll definitely miss you all and wish you guys the best, although I'll do my best to find a way to come here every so often. And when I finish my rehab stint, Nitro will be back and better than ever!

Edited by Nitro
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It is. It's the 3rd time I've gone through an OD. I OD'd on sleep pills, intentionally, in 2009, and I was pretty much blacked out for the entire experience so it wasn't too bad. Then last year on Easter I took a bunch of caffeine pills (that I was selling to a kid, crushed up, as coke) and nearly had a heart attack and they needed to inject me with 4mg of Ativan to get my heartbeat and blood pressure in check. That was really scary, but this was even worse because I took what is usually an average does for me, then out of nowhere I black out and wake up very light-headed and delerious strapped down to a stretcher in an ambulance. When I heard I was so close to death and that my friends were so fearful of my life that they called the police (which they would have avoided at all costs if possible), it scared the hell out of me.

 

And thanks for the all the kind words, guys!! I'll probably be around another 1-2 days since I gotta find a rehab my insurance recovers and move in and whatnot, so you'll still see me around a little while longer. Depending on what rehab I go to, I may or may not be able to occasionally have access to this site. If I don't, I'll definitely miss you all and wish you guys the best, although I'll do my best to find a way to come here every so often. And when I finish my rehab stint, Nitro will be back and better than ever!

 

I would recommend smoking weed as an alternative, go weaker as time passes on it is the least stressful way of doing it imo, screw rehab. Weed has been proven in some cases to help ease addiction to harder drugs.

 

Just killing your addiction when you are super addicted to drugs is just too much stress, I can imagine how my Mom would feel if she had to stop smoking cigarettes after many, many years.

 

It isn't your fault either, it is your drug dealer's fault for giving you heroin when he didn't have the natural green. You should find someone that just sells the green.

Edited by Yugo the Impaler
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Best of luck Nitro, your attitude going in right now is going to help you tremendously throughout the process. Just fight, be strong.

 

My sister went to rehab for heroin about two years ago, and she's doing great now... Minus all the Jesus freak stuff she picked up there :lol:

 

It's tough, but you're tough. I know it's cliche, but if there's anything I can do... Let me know.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Nitro! Get better man!

 

You're too smart a guy to have drugs ruining his life. Take care of this. It's good to know you have good friends looking out for you.

 

 

This.

 

 

---

 

 

I don't want to compare heroin addiction with cigarette smoking addiction, but I'm going to share my story how I quit smoking... perhaps it can help if you relate the two... after all they're both addiction/ temptation.

 

So I had been smoking in the past 2-3 years and when one night I felt chest pain... and difficulty to breathe... it went on for 2-3 straight nights, and I began to fear for my lungs. I started imagining when I am 55 years old, with breathing support, lying down on bed, weakened by years/ decades of smoking. The visualization was pretty real as my chest continued to ache... finally I decided to quit smoking.

 

Only... it was hard. How can I JUST decide to quit it, when I was pretty much addicted?

 

 

This is when you can try this method:

1.) Most people want to quit their smoking/ drugs addiction but they keep doing their bad habits... so they actually try to do something right, but they seem to always fail. When you fail, you lose. So what defeats them? It's called "TEMPTATION".

 

2.) Begin to visualize this TEMPTATION as SOMEONE or a person.

- And now imagine if you're a smoker, and want to quit, and you keep lighting that cigarette. EVERY time you take out that ciggy stick and light it, "Temptation" just beats you, yet again.

- And now imagine if you have wanted to quit 500 cigarette sticks ago, and have still not quit now, "Temptation" just beat you 500 times IN A ROW!!! Ask this to yourself: "Where's your pride, man? You gonna let someone beat you 500 times in a row??" If it's still hard to visualize, imagine your favorite sports team getting beat 500 CONSECUTIVE times by the same bloody team!!!! You just wanna shoot the other team's best player/ kidnap him right...? You will do ANYTHING so your team actually beats them the next time.

 

3.) Also imagine that "Temptation" doesn't just beat you, he beats everyone ALL OVER THE WORLD who wants to quit, but "can't". Visualize billions of smoking/drugs addicts, and how "Temptation" beats ALL OF THEM with seemingly greatest of ease. Everyone seems to FEAR "Temptation", and everyone bows to him when he passes. He then turns to the people, laughs and screams, "I WANT YOU SLAVES TO REMEMBER THAT YOU'RE POWERLESS AGAINST ME." The powerless people are holding out hope there might be a hero one day that can stand up to "Temptation", beats him, stops him, and just show to them that it can be done.

 

4.) Build up ALL your RAGE, ANGER, your MOST DESTRUCTIVE HATRED, toward... this person called "Temptation" who has beat you time and time again.

 

5.) Visualize yourself actually beating this "Temptation" with your fists and brute force to a pulp. Imagine the "Temptation" himself and everyone (all smoking/drug addicts) who are at the scene seem shocked at the turn of events. Intensify your attacks, and punch "Temptation" so thoroughly he begins to yelp, "help".

 

6.) When you're satisfied (if not, you can always go back to Step #5 :) ), shake "Temptation" and threaten him, "if I ever see you again, I'LL KILL YOU! You feel me/ you understand?"

 

 

7.) Now it may feel great to finally beat the team that had beaten you in the previous 500 times. But are you going to celebrate this one LONE win and be miserable in the next 500 games again? Are you going to settle for 1 win? Of course not. Even more impressive than 1 win is to COMPLETELY turn the table and actually DOMINATE the team that had previously dominated you. Now that would be the ultimate satisfaction! Only, how do you dominate "Temptation"? By defying his orders. You beat "Temptation" every time you defy his order. You don't want to do this 10 times, you don't want to do this 50 times, you don't want to do this 100 times, you don't want to return the favor and beat him 500 times, no. You want to shut "Temptation" and so thoroughly dominate him that he wishes he'd never met you, and never has to see you again.

 

 

---

 

 

Yep, I used this method... and it works for me for quitting smoking. :) I'm dominating "Temptation" right now... I even once found an opened pack of ciggies with even a lighter. I took one cig out and almost put it in my mouth before my pride in my accomplishments so far against "Temptation" took over, and I decided I meant it when I said I wanted to dominate "Temptation".

 

If you can't stop temptation, it controls you, it dictates you how you should live your life, it controls you like a puppet, it bosses you around "light that cigarette/ shoot up now", it toys with your pride... you position yourself lower than this lowly thing.

 

By dominating (not only defeating) your temptation, you place your entity-being higher than it. Your pride has to be the driving force, to never let anyONE/ anyTHING dictate how you should live your life.

 

 

Remember, temptation is NEVER a part of you. You, your body, your soul, and your pride/ dignity are fighting a battle against it. It's up to you if it's a winning/ losing one. Me, personally, I don't want to only win against "Temptation". I want to dominate it.

 

Hope this somehow helps my friend :)

Edited by Multi-Billionaire
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...