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classic pickup line

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I just got back from the gas station and was behind a semi hot chick...

 

and she said its so hot outside, and the cash register guy said almost as hot as u

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My dog is such a [expletive]....he acts like a badass whenever my mom is around, and no one can get near her because he protects her. Then when my mom leaves to work and its just me and him before I go to school, he does not leave me alone. Now, my brother came down for my parent's anniversary and fathers day and brought his dog (a 6 month old english bulldog). My dog is just getting dominated and he has been hiding behind me or under my legs whenever my brother's dog approached him.

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My dog is such a [expletive]....he acts like a badass whenever my mom is around, and no one can get near her because he protects her. Then when my mom leaves to work and its just me and him before I go to school, he does not leave me alone. Now, my brother came down for my parent's anniversary and fathers day and brought his dog (a 6 month old english bulldog). My dog is just getting dominated and he has been hiding behind me or under my legs whenever my brother's dog approached him.

 

ur dog can own tha other dog, when tha real battle begins

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My dog is such a [expletive]....he acts like a badass whenever my mom is around, and no one can get near her because he protects her. Then when my mom leaves to work and its just me and him before I go to school, he does not leave me alone. Now, my brother came down for my parent's anniversary and fathers day and brought his dog (a 6 month old english bulldog). My dog is just getting dominated and he has been hiding behind me or under my legs whenever my brother's dog approached him.

my friend has a huge golden retriever that still acts like a baby. when you walk in his house, he just jumps all over you and shit. if he wasn't so [expletive]ing big it would be okay, but this dog is huge! when one of our mutual friends is over, the dog goes apeshit when he sees him, probably because he picks up the scent of his female dog on him. apparently when my friend's sister visits, she brings her dogs with and he behaves because the older dogs play with him and put him in order :lol:

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I have learned that I cannot resist the urge of eating a chocolate mousse. Everyone is so impressed with the fact that I don't eat brownies or any desserts because they are just w.e. to me, but chocolate mousse just gets me.

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Drove to Jersey the other night for softball league championship games, best 2 out of 3.. 2 hour drive, but I didn't mind it, last games of the year. Won the first easily, and lost the 2nd by 2. Game 3, we're up 4 with no outs in the 4th, runners on 2nd and 3rd.. the [expletive]ing lights cut out. Can't get them back on, the ump is all "oh wellz we'll see what happenz lol" and leaves, so we pack up and drink some in the parking lot.

 

I end up getting back to Philly around 2 AM, and realize I left my keys in Jersey. Complex won't let me in because my name isn't on the apartment lease, so I had to drive back, especially because I had work in the morning and I needed to get in to feed the cat. Drove 2 more hours each way, got to sleep at 7 AM, and worked 8 hours starting at 10 AM.

 

No clue how I'm still awake, but I said [expletive] it and spend the night drinking. Avery's New World Porter and Flying Dog's Raging Bitch are pretty solid. Sleep is the cousin of death and I have off tomorrow, let's see how long the light can burn.

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Drove to Jersey the other night for softball league championship games, best 2 out of 3.. 2 hour drive, but I didn't mind it, last games of the year. Won the first easily, and lost the 2nd by 2. Game 3, we're up 4 with no outs in the 4th, runners on 2nd and 3rd.. the [expletive]ing lights cut out. Can't get them back on, the ump is all "oh wellz we'll see what happenz lol" and leaves, so we pack up and drink some in the parking lot.

 

I end up getting back to Philly around 2 AM, and realize I left my keys in Jersey. Complex won't let me in because my name isn't on the apartment lease, so I had to drive back, especially because I had work in the morning and I needed to get in to feed the cat. Drove 2 more hours each way, got to sleep at 7 AM, and worked 8 hours starting at 10 AM.

 

No clue how I'm still awake, but I said [expletive] it and spend the night drinking. Avery's New World Porter and Flying Dog's Raging Bitch are pretty solid. Sleep is the cousin of death and I have off tomorrow, let's see how long the light can burn.

http://assets.diylol.com/hfs/483/725/359/resized/certifiably-insane-meme-generator-certifiably-insane-8fb2f6..jpg

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I completely ruined my Kobe Bryant shoes that I have had for a few years now...I was walking around school and stepped in the deepest puddle ever, it went past my ankle and got one of my shoes completely soaked. Trying to save them right now lol

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